Gone
by MissLCB
Summary: Kaidan remembers Shepard as he is about to put her plaque on the memorial wall. Femshep/Kaidan


*SPOILERS if you haven't finished the 3rd game*

Kaidan remembers Shepard as he is about to put her plaque on the memorial wall.

I originally wanted this to be Shepard and Kaidan's 'happy ending' but I wasn't sure how that would fit with the game. I wasn't sure I was convinced it could happen so this is what it turned it to. I might it expand it but for now it's just a one shot... If you want more then please review and let me know. :)

* * *

'Commander Shepard' the panel read, it was how everyone knew her.

"_You know I have a name," she folded her arms across her chest, "More than just 'Shepard'."_

"_I know," he responded._

"_Maybe you should use it more often."_

_He smirked, "Alright, Teresa."_

"_How does it sound so sexy when you say it?"_

He stepped forward to place it on the memorial board. So many other names were already there, those that had been lost.

"_Hey Lola, you gonna join this poker game or what?" Vega called._

_She had been stood watching the group smiling, everyone was there playing together. "Yeah, of course."_

_Kaidan watched her bring drinks to the table and then sit down next to him. She looked fantastic in the dress she was wearing. She'd been right, it had been good to spend time on the Citadel with everyone. But there was something on her face, something she wasn't saying. "You alright?" he nudged her._

_She nodded and smiled, "I was just thinking."_

"_Any inspiring words you'd like to share Commander?" Garrus asked._

"_Nothing much, just that I'm glad you're all here. Having friends like you guys makes this whole thing… worth it." There was a pause. She squeezed Kaidan's hand under the table, but didn't meet his eyes, he knew what she wanted to say._

"_Now," she picked up her cards, "just because I'm wearing a dress doesn't mean I can't take you all down. Bid it Vakarian." _

Without her, there would have been so many more deaths.

"_Are we gonna make it Kaidan?" she sat on the edge of the bed, her head dipped down._

"_We're ready," he reassured her, placing a hand on her back. "You've put the people together, the vision – and what you've done, Shepard, is build hope."_

"_I'm glad I inspire that in you, but sometimes…" she placed a hand on his face letting it slide down until it rested on his chest. "You're right. Give us hope and a fighting chance. Hell, the Reapers better watch themselves." She kissed him softly before standing up._

"_Teresa," he grabbed her arm. "I'm with you. We're all with you."_

"_I know."_

She had done everything. Saved everyone she could. Synthetics were gone and she would beat herself up forever about that.

"_Aren't they cute?" Teresa smiled as she watched EDI and Joker talking on the Citadel. "They deserve happiness after all this."_

_Kaidan wrapped his arms around her, "They're not the only ones."_

Maybe even now, there was a chance things could be fixed.

"_It just keeps flashing… I don't know what that means." Joker placed his hand on the AI core, "come on EDI…"_

He ran his hand over her name.

"_Hey, Commander," he called her._

_She turned, slowly, "What is it Kaidan?"_

"_I'm not leaving you alone, not tonight." He grasped her hands, "You know you did everything you could for them."_

"_And it still wasn't enough."_

"_Come here," he pulled her closer, held her as tight as he could and kissed the top of her head. "You'll fix this, you always do."_

"_Only if you're with me."_

"_Always."_

He looked up to the memorial board.

"_You gotta get out of here," she stepped back, out of his reach._

"_Yeah, that's not gonna happen." _

"_Don't argue with me Kaidan." Her face was strong, so focused as if nothing would stop her._

_He felt himself begin to crumble, "Don't leave me behind."_

_She stepped on to the Normandy's ramp, whispering so that only he could hear, "No matter what happens, know that I love you, always." She placed her hand on his cheek, he squeezed her fingers tightly as though he could keep her there._

_He knew he couldn't. "I love you too. Be careful."_

_As she backed away and looked at the battlefield he couldn't help but reach for her. _

"_Go!" She shouted._

_Then she was gone._

"I can't do it," he sighed. She couldn't be... She just couldn't.

"Kaidan…" Liara motioned to comfort him, reassure him.

"…_No confirmation on Shepard yet, and with the state of the mass effect relays it's unlikely we'll know anything for at least few months. Even if she did survive, with the state of earth it would be a miracle if they are enough resources to find her and save her. Therefore, I am announcing Commander Shepard killed in action. May she be able to prove us wrong, again. Hackett out."_

Kaidan turned from the memorial board. Shrugging off the attempts to stop him he moved past them. There was only one person who could fix this and she wasn't there.

"…_we know this is goodbye."_

"_When this is over, I'm gonna be waiting for you. You better show up."_

She couldn't be gone.

* * *

I just felt like some of this needed saying. This pretty much explains how I felt about the mass effect universe at the end of the third game. I also want to say, I don't think EDI would be repairable but I'd love for there to be hope.

Thanks for reading. Would love a review. :)


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